The one that don't need anyone.: 2009

Thursday, December 31, 2009

You felt like a stranger to me.

I cannot hold any longer.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It was like.

A sudden breakout.

And there I was thinking.

Eh why am I. What am I doing.

Then the memories flash back.

Oh I was playing tennis.

And somehow.

I lost my temper for a while.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Fuck everyone today.

I had a fucking bad day today.

ROARS.

So much for being a "steady" friend.

And fuck the pork behind.

Keep peeping at me blogging.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hi. I am lonely again.

And then cry again.

I wonder what the fuck I want.

I wanna give up soon.

But everytime I thought of what will happen if I give up.

I cry.

Because I know you don't care.

You don't care if I give up anot.

You don't even care if I exist.

I think I should love myself more than I love you.

One more week.

Just one more week.

And...

You will never do what you promise.

I will never get the kind of love I want.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I can't believe I cry sleeping just beside you so many times.

Because I felt so lonely.

So lonely I felt like dying. Or maybe I am already dead.

I can't believe I willingly to waste time on waiting.

And then in the end. Cry.

I need a better life.

Someone who can makes me happy.

Not just because he finally talk to me and say some sweet things

And I go all crazy about it.

This relationship won't last.

Nothing last when it comes to me.

Nothing.

Since I am alone all the time.

Why can't I just....

Monday, November 9, 2009

I sms you today.

I dunno why I always need damn hell lots of courage to do that.

It's just a sms.

When I close my eyes.

I see you telling me that I am beautiful.

Exactly like that day.

And then when I open eyes..

I see you leaving me.. alone crying.

You lied.

Why do people lie?

It's kinda hurt everytime I think of you.

Though it's not that painful anymore.

Christmas is coming.

To me. I think it's just another anniversary.

4th year.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I can only apologize to nothing every christmas.

I am so sorry that you won't be able to hear my apologies.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean it.

I am so sorry. I felt really sad too.

I am so sorry. I didn't manage to give you a name.

I am so sorry. A scar is not enough to ammend for what I did.

I wish I died on that day.

People like me don't deserve to be save.

Don't save me anymore.

It painful to stay alive.

Christmas... The festival I love the most.

Santa claus really don't exist?

I still gonna hang my socks this year.

Gingerbreadman is coming to town!

My favourite cartoon character.

Hehe. Guess I am still a kid afterall.

Kid don't murder.

But I guess I did.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Why do I have to always cry alone.

It's not fair. That I am here crying.

And you are happily playing game.

It's not fair. So not fair.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I wish I died.

No one think I am worth living anyway.

When I tried hard to keep everyone around me happy.

And...still nobody cares.

Make me dead.

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's sad, when I thought of how they used to treat me last time.

I put in so much. I gave so much.

And then I get nothing, NOTHING in return, but pain.

I hope this time round is not.

I had a quarrel with Fat Pork on friday.

I cry while walking on the way home.

Why does all this things happen on me.

But then I didn't see how much effort he put in.

But after that bad friday.

I realize, I don't have to a idiot to wait and wait at home for his return.

Meanwhile I can do lotsa stuff like, swimming and going out for shopping.

I shouldn't be so stubborn.

Even after all my ex-bf break up with me because I am stubborn.

And Fat Pork can endure me for so long.

Isn't he sweet.

I reborn my hair today.

Finally I felt, newer and much more alive and kicking.

Seriously, HAIR does matter.

Christal has move to AMK. My hair stylist.

Haha. Sound like a professional.

But.. Haha, she is just a ordinary hair stylist.

But she's good. At least the best in all the hair stylist I met.

If not I won't went all the way down to AMK just to cut a hair.

I have persuaded Porky to get into the " Set a goal " mode.

And our goal is to get married and save alot money before that.

If we fail, We just break the Pork Bank and split the money.

Heh. It's just a goal for us to work towards to.

It doesn't mean we have to WORK towards to.

I mean... We have to! But .. Nvm.

Well. I wish we can make it.

Muahahahas.

I am tired.

Gonna go sleep.

Work tomorrow.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

ROARS. I gonna protect my country!!!

No nonesense!

Without Singapore, There won't be FAT PORK!

And all my friends. My brothers. And Sister!!

1. Junyi

2. Yong Yeow

3. Cesc

4. Dongxu

5. Soh Hwee

6. Hey I think I only got 5 friends.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Haha. Bao's at home playing mahjong again.

I wonder where she get to know so many mahjong legs from.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I have some serious infection.

So serious I hate going to toilet now.

It's hurt when I urine.

So sad. And is like everytime 10 minutes I need to urine.

I am getting old.

Last time shit got blood.

The doctor put test tube into my asshole lohs.

Then after that say, " Oh nothing much lahs, Overheat nia "

Kanina!

I will never forget her face.

Stupid bitch.

Anyway.....

I think I got some Shopping Diesease. (SD)

I suppose to go to this woman clinic this morning.

And I can't find it.

But on the way searching.

I think I spend like $200.

Slippers. Faceshop.

Shirts. ETC ETC.

I won't even let off things like batteries and tiger palm.

Lols. I am really sick.

Tomorrow sailing onboard Gallant.

Have to sleep aft mess. T_T

So sad.

Lols.

Friday meeting my elephant for dinner.

Hmmm. Porky is coming with me.

Hehehe. I hope they get along.

I love my porky.

I love my porky so much I decided to go fasting.

I am getting fat.

When I hug him I can feel his huge stomach against my not so big stomach.

MUAHAHAHAS.

But there's still stomach.

I bet nobody understand what I am saying.

But nevermind!

No eating onboard Gallant.

3 days 2 nights for $400.

And I spend it on ps3 for Porky birthday present.

But I think I playing it more than him.

I wonder what so important that their people can't sail.

Hmmm.

I am going to sleep soon!!!

My fat porky is running now.

So cute. Haha trying to cut down weight.

Muacks I love my porky.

Monday, October 12, 2009

There are times.

When I felt so sad, I swear I will never comply to your anything anymore.

There are also times.

When I felt angry and have to keep it to myself.

Seriously I felt like spamming all the vulgarities and my powerful

middle finger into your face. But of course not. XD

There are a few times.

I felt down and you didnt notice.

I thought I said something about "What a stupid guy"

But then there is never a time.

That I stopped loving you.

Hehehe.

It's good to have a laptop.

So you can bring it around, not just your house.

I am currently lying on my bed.

In a very comfy position.

And blogging.

Thinking that I should blog more often now and then.

Because I am at home. And kinda feeling talkative.

And there's no one to talk to and this late hours.

Though I have 300+ dolls.

But I assume they are sleeping already. =D

So just let me talk.

Let's see.

I am currently thinking of when I first join the SAF.

Before I join, I was free like a bird.

I fly everywhere that is flyerable. ( HEHE MY own ENGLISH )

But then I was spoiled.

And bad temper.

Keep bullying those weaklings in school.

Muahahahas. I sound so bad.

And worse, Not much allowance.

No money = die/dead.

As you all know I spend at least 1900 (all my pay) a week.

Because my salary always last for just a week.

Sad.

Then I join the SAF.

I become somehow, still a bird.

But can only fly when people allow me to.

Is like a million birdy marching together.

And I am one of them now.

LOLS!

I got friends. Though we don't really hang out together.

I always wanted a friend.

Just one.

One that I always have her/he in my mind and.. you know.

Eat lunch together, go out together, play together, taung together.

Go to work together. Endless topic.

And just everything together.

Like elephant and me.

Anyway, I am meeting her on friday.

It's like a meet the boyfriend gathering.

Muahahahas

Bleahs.

I am getting sleepy.

Goodnight.

I love my little porky.

My cute little porky.

My fat fat porky.

MY PORKY.

MINE!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

why do i feel like i am under control?

Monday, October 5, 2009

My throat hurts.

I hate it when I have to face a mistake I make.

And then have to crack my brain on how to salvage it.

Duty again.

I love my Pork Pork.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I start to find guys very very very very freaking mother fucking

I.R.R.I.T.A.T.I.N.G

Except for my fat three layered stomach pork.

My porky.

Is cute ( Ugly but adorable )

And Fat.

Simply dumb.

And...Very unromantic.

.....

I love my FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

Little Porky. =D

I love my pork pork.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

My eyes sore again.

Mucus keep flowing out from my nose.

Like waterfall...?

I think I done something wrong again.

Like I always did.

I remember telling myself.

If things doesn't belongs to me.

Then I have no choice but to make it mine.

I've done it.

Happiness, laughter and stupid imaginery stories.

They only last for a very short while.

When you first write the first few episode.

You feel the exitement about "I wonder if he likes it"

I crack my brains using everything I have all my energy I spend

So I can think of interesting stuff to share.

I always been a joker.

A tomboy.

A man!

I have to protect everyone I loved.

I committed more than I can.

Clowns get performance money from audience.

But I got nothing.

Because at the end of the day.

I'm always tired and exhausted from all the "protecting".

Not protecting the people I loved.

But myself.

I guess I am the one who needs protection the most.

But there's no one there I can lean on.

And blurt out everything that is eating me.

It's hurtful.

To know.

You doubt my love.

Like I mention in the previous post.

Everything is a lie.

But my love is not.

But seems to me like my love is a lie to you.

HAHA. This is for lying too much.

Retribution.

Now... I am going to smoke until I can't feel my lungs.

( Anyone know the feeling of feeling a lungs? )

And til I die...I just gonna fill everywhere with laughter.

Even if I cry I gonna cry laughing!

Anyway I think I got a pair of pretty eyes with neverending tears.

Where I got so much water from.

I thought I just pee.

It's painful inside.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I think I am living in a lie.

Though I hope losing my wallet is also a lie.

TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE!

I hae parents that love me and dote on me.

Although we always quarrel when we had eyes contact.

But still I am living in a lie.

I had a boyfriend that make a effort to cheer me up when I am angry with him.

But he always makes me kinda lonely and

"suck thumb because I am in love with him"

Promises like cooking a maggie mee always come hours later.

After I already start to deform into a zombie due to starvation.

Still, Is this a lie too?

What I meant was...

Everything is coming to an end.

I was very happy throughout all the times.

I mean I seriously am laughing when I am laughing.

But..After the crowd dispersed..

"What's so funny about just now"

Maybe it's a habit that I just like to laugh so much that is a habit.

I always bought damn lots of stuff when it comes to pay day.

Simply because I got nothing better to do.

Shopping kinda makes me "PHEW"

Though it makes me feel like a idiot carrying alot of bags.

I fell down at northpoint the other day.

After buying lots of BRAS that I promise I will buy for myself.

As a reward..for working too hard.

( Excuses )

Because I was carrying so much stuff.

I couldn't see the puddle of slimy slimy watery dunno what on the floor.

I manage to do some kungfu and land on my feet.

But my ankle hurt now. =\

I becoming more and more clumsy.

And I don't know why.

I used to be so protective of myself.

Even like how many ants passes me.

I will know.

I guess my spike has been cut off.

And stop observing how people react.

And stop protecting myself from meanies.

And also failed to see who is bad and who is not.

Simply because I lie to myself.

"He wont do this to me"

"She not that kind of person"

Even until I see their true colour.

"Maybe its her/his bad fur day"

Talking about bad fur day.

I been having that everyday since I cut my hair.

I swear to god I will never go to that salon and cut again!

If she touches my hair once more.

I make sure I chop my hair myself rather than let her chop.

Now I feel like a frizzly....bear?

I felt scare about the upcoming events that requires me to be MC.

It's just talking.

But I gonna talk in front of so many people.

And I think I need to wear skirt.

You know...I never done anything like this in my life.

Then again, what's there to be scare of.

I am getting tired.

I need to sleep very soon. Like immdiate.

Still got to sail tomorrow.

I think I done something proud today.

I drew a line.

Between work and friends.

Well, that takes alot of courage.

I guess, lies makes me happy.

Though I hope loving me is not a lie.

Its not about the maggie mee I am upset about.

It's about how you prioritize me between....me and games?

And how you care about my needs and my wants.

I guess I can do anything for you.

Or simply everything. If you ask me to.

But...What do I get in return?

AN HOUR LATE MAGGIE MEE.

And that really causes me to deform into a zombie.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My poor poor laptop has been hospitalize.

Currently using my daddy old and dying laptop.

Have to wait for one week for my laptop to discharge from hospital.

Sians..

Monday, September 7, 2009

Come to think of it.

Today I been doing nothing again.

Although I learn something from L Andrew.

And he's laughing at my knowledge. I think.

Well blame it on someone.

I still can't forget everything and anything.

Not even your bloody face.

It makes me boil the moment I see you.

It's like " fuck i wanna strangle you " But then again,

" I don't want dirty my hand "

Man.

It's sound hurting saying all this.

Blaa. He should die.

Baby kaobeing about me keep flirting on msn.

Heehee.

I am sailing early morning tomorrow.

Talk to CO on the phone today.

Like he say who the would spend time calling someone

and specially tell them how you feel or cares about how you feel.

If that person don't appreciate you.

I thought I gonna... just somehow.

Zzzz...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Woke up and you can tell that it's gonna be a long long boring day.

For me. Yes.

I having some difficulties living my life again.

I have the urge to swim 50 laps in the pool now.

But no. Because I don't want to be alone.

Beanie is on my mind right now.

Currently listening to Melodies of Life.

A song which part of the lyrics says..

"Do you remember loving me"

Well I still remember.

Specially when I play Patapons.

I use to hold your hands.

And we will sang the BON BON BONN song together.

BB's meow meow eyes is so big.

And it's like staring at me with hatred cause I always threw him on the floor.

And etc etc.

How can a cat win me.

Bleahs. I still don't understand.

Maybe I am getting old.

How I used to be so rebellious and "I will have what I want"

But now.. I still have to think twice about going for a swim.

And how to control my temper and emotion.

So I wouldn't hurt anyone feelings.

And then I get so used it I think I forgot about my own.

I curse bb get snipe and kill in SA everytime he play.

So that he will get fed up and stop playing and then turn around and look at me.

Okay I got nothing to blog already.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Geez.

I blew up just now.

Thinking of a way to keep myself awake.

So I can wait for baby to come back.

But now is only 12.30am.

Zzzz.. And I am bored.

I wonder what's so fun about dragonfly.

Will kana H1N1 you know.

Old people nowadays ah... Don't know what they thinking.

Tsk Tsk.

Some picture I took in genting.

My hair is gone.

I don't look pretty anymore.

SOB!!

And to think I was so against bimbos.

BB jacket that keep me warm!

I really really really miss my hair.

Lao nu ren and me =D

Isn't she cute?

Haha caught them!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Uh huh.

I felt like crying.

This is not the life I want.

Then I think by tomorrow I will wake up

and forget everything that happen today.

And go crazy for some particular person again.

So I tried and tried so hard to keep my tears from dropping

Because I don't want it to lead to some arguments.

I tell you what.

I woke up feeling so useless.

And so lazy today.

I fucking hell don't feel like doing anything.

NOTHING.

But I force myself to fucking hell change the bloody mindset

of doing nothing for the whole day and do something.

I clean the bloody room.

I clean it with my hand and a piece of cloth.

I wipe every single inches of tiles in your room.

And I wipe basically everything in your room.

I fucking don't do housework.

Why do you have me make me feel so low.

And now I have to use all my cells and concentrate on not dropping

a single drop of fucking tears.

And so I thought maybe you done something sweet

and can make me smile and feel like a bloody idiot madly in love again.

But you didn't.

And then so be it.

I am sick being a bimbo.

Like some bloody shit that cares about how her fucking hair look like.

And start to worry of her actions that might make the guy just run away.

Whatever.

Mother fucker all.

Shit just fuck off.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Oh as I were saying yesterday.

Baby bought a new computer.

And now he can't play sudden attack with it.

Hee. I am trying to fixed it.

Felt so young suddenly like 10 years ago.

When I was just primay 4 I would sit in front

of my computer every night and day.

And that time my computer always spoiled.

And then start to fixed myself with daddy screwdriver.

And tada. I am a genius.

Blahs whatever.

Baby sailing.

So sians.

Hais...

I am so tired about work.

I mean not about work or sailing.

About peoples.

I been praise by CO quite often recently.

Why am I doing this?

Oh whatever.

Anyway I realize some good point under him.

He forced you to learn.

And when people asked me a question, I know how to answer.

Because I somehow remember being force to learn by CO.

Lols. Blaa. I gonna fall asleep soon.

So tired.

Oh my god.

I haven blog for a fucking damn long time.

Something is wrong with my laptop.

I guess it's really time to fixed it.

Tomorrow I will bring it for repair.

Sians.

Tomorrow still have to go and work.

I mean I been so xiong for a week.

Lols.

Bleahs.

Actually it fun being busy.

Totally busy for a whole week.

Sailing and sailing.

But it's fun.

BB bought a new desktop.

Heehee!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Every fucking thing on this internet is down.
Facebook, hotmail, blogger. I cant even fucking play SA.
Shit the internet

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I woke up today and then it was 5pm.

Time flies.

Especially on your off day.

Feeling so..... question mark today.

I got nothing to do the whole day.

And tomorrow is off for me again.

Baby's back tomorrow.

I was so bored I actually...

watch cartoon for 3 years and below on television.

Bought crabs and get scolded.

Haha. So funny.

I bought crabs for them.

And they said I waste money.

Since I just bought abalone yesterday.

What's wrong with them.

I do what I want and I eat what I feel like eating.

Hais.

Will never buy anything again! Bleahs!

Boring.

Baby.

Faster come back.

Loading photo for the genting trip.

Post soon. xD.

Nites peeps.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Had a talk with Angel Co.

I kinda miss him.

I still couldn't find anyone that is even one quarter of him.

I am not 125-ing.

Hmm.

Whatever others said.

I saw erm...blogs.

About how guys can said something and hurt us girls.

Without noticing.

Well, I think guys always said something

that suprise me.

Because they makes me feel so touched.

And I wonder if they notice.

I think I can't just sit down here all day long.

And keep thinking about "being kick out".

I miss all my friends for sure.

I miss them.

Lee Lee was posted out.

And I still miss him.

And we go went out.

And we are still friends.

So I think there's nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Maybe it's time I learn how to let go.

And change. Like my GO Mr Potato says.

I miss him too.

I miss everyone.

Let's not sound like I gonna post out for sure.

BB sailing.

I felt my heart crack for a moment.

Then I repair it with lot's of faith and trust.

I login into this farm and saw this message send by

some imperfect girl. I mean her name.

Not saying she's imperfect.

Haha. And simple the message just says " I love you "

Oh talking about here.

My heart crack again.

Anyone hear?! The glass sound.

Oh whatever.

Faith and trust where are you. I got repair work.

Lionfishes are really pretty.

I remember point at resilience ship badge.

And says I wanted to go to this ship with weird ship badge.

Haha.

And here I am. Resilience.

My heart hurts.

Stupid BB.

He won't do this kind of things to me.

Hahaha he won't.

But... am I feeling scare?

Hahaha.

I think I better sleep.

Friday, August 7, 2009

BB!! I love you!!

I gonna dieee without you!!

T_T

I am ... dying...

*dead*

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Everytime I stay at home I get frustrated.

I dun know why.

I think I don't like home anymore.

Went to chalet.

Seen things I thought I only can see on television.

I still don't believe how ugly people can be.

Doing things that makes people cry.

And I am a accomplice.

I haven ate anything since yesterday.

Except for tons or marshmellow.

BBQ was fun!

I wish everyone can just BBQ the whole night.

Instead of doing those kind of things.

See all the chicken wings and hotdogs.

LAIS cook one all chaota.

I cook one so nice. =D

So happy.

Muahahahas.

Hais.

Stupid baby.

Gamble the whole night.

Didn't see him much lohs.

I think I getting possesive liaos.

I want him to be with me 24/7.

I still remember time when we just started.

I would wait for him.

But why I can't I wait anymore.

He still say he like someone like that.

And now I making him hate me. =\

But I love him so much lahs.

I think I need friends.

I going to make more friends.

So I won't feel lonely when Baby is not with me.

I love you. I love you.

Monday, August 3, 2009

What do people do when they feel like this.

They fuck care.

Hais.

I had enough.

Use knife or whatever.

Just make sure I die.

And not making it more painful!!!

Roars.

U stupid stupid girl.

I miss you.

My little ant.

Weird day!

Maybe because I am alone!

Went down for sun tanning.

And...There this bunch of kids.

Naughty ones.

They are so young.

And so crude.

There's this maid.

Okay. This two boy.

A and B.

The maid belong to A.

And A shouted at her maid.

Asking her to go up and get his ball so he can play with B.

Then B scolded A maid.

Ask her to faster go and take.

So rude!! This is just one point.

Then there I was, the poor lonely me.

On the chair, tanning my back.

Lying on my hand while I watch the two monkeys.

Then they start splashing water.

And splash all over. ME .

And they just laugh and laugh...

I heard her say she's gonna kill them.

Haha.. Lucky me...

Then I got sick of the monkeys.

P.S ( I don't hate kids. I just dislike them. Well except for my own )

I went to the gym.

I went in.. then there were another china freak inside.

Hey, I am not being countrisis. Lols dunnno what lahs.

But he was really a freak.

He on the aircon... HELLO! This is a gym.

Where people need to sweat!

Maybe not for him but for me lohs!

Somemore I just came up from the bloody pools.

I was like shivering inside the gym lohs.

Then he was there watch TV.

Then keep laughing damn loud.

Then every 5 minutes or so, he will go the ... the weight thing lahs

Do abit of workout then back to his TV again.

Freak.... and I was there shivering. Not very normal also.

Then a bitch came in.

She look okay at first.

Long curly hair.

Average looks.

And funny clothes for workout.

Then she was running on the track thing.

And I was beside her.

She run like she doing modelling lohs.

Keep looking into the mirror and pose different kind of poses.

Then style her hair every minute lohs.

Tie like that then after change. Then the way she run like

making love with guy like that. Kanasai

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Play play play.

Playing makes me bored.

MC for six days.

But I feel perfectly fine.

Bleahs

I think I going back to work this friday!

Tomorrow is my last day rest. =\

Exams coming.

Sians.

Hais.

Nothing to do.

I love my baby.

My baby ant.

One stomp will die one.

I can't believe I done that.

For you.

I cut my hair.

My precious hair.

I wasted so much money on it --> Hair.

I had enough of the word mop.

And now I've done it.

I should'nt have.

Morale minus 60%.

See. I gonna fail my exams.

Mummy miss me.

They want me to go genting.

=\ I am like " Genting again? Not sians mehs "

Then again I think I haven went home and have eyes contact with them

for quite a long long time.

And then again, I think is time our relationship take a break.

Take a break. Not break.

I have to sit, wait and do nothing.

Waiting for you to play game.

I have to play with you.

And when I got bored of it, I still got to wait for you.

Waiting kills.

I am not those patient type of human.

That will always wait and wait while doing nothing.

Maybe...hais.

I will always force myself to remember this word.

" The one who cares less, win "

I couldn't bring myself to do it though.

I guess you must be hugging the damn bloody mother fucking shit.

I can't believe I lost to a doll.

Somemore doll is my favourite thing in this world.

So much things happen lately.

So so much.

Makes me stress.

My hair stand up.

And starts to kewl like prawn.

I need rebonding.

I need a nike bag which I saw earlier.

I need alot alot brand new clothes.

And alot more shoes even though I just bought 2 today.

Maybe some watches helps.

I need shopping.

But fuck. I dun have money.

Then I should have go sightseeing.

Mount Faber which I think I am suppose to be right now.

I guess promise are always meant to be broken.

Promise Promise.

I hate promise.

I fucking hell swear to god I won't fucking believe promises anymore.

Not in my entire life anymore.

People seems to know your presence.

I thought I will do everything to conceal you.

I guess you are out.

Everywhere I go become disaster.

It's basically all your fault.

I wish you can shut your damn mouth for one night.

And stop talking to me.

Seriously. Before I ask someone to kick you away.

Well...$$...

Genting.

I hope it lift my mood.

No one is gonna make me happy except for myself.

Therefore. Myself

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What's with the wait a while and then

NOTHING.

I think I have enough of your wait a while.

Promises are nothing to you.

Then it shall be nothing to me too.

I thought if someone got the guts to say out

whatever thing he want to do or will do.

He must have the guts to finish whatever things he suppose to.

Bleahs. It's not just between us.

I hate empty promises!

Si Nan Ren!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I hope whoever that takes my BB stuff..

return to him.

Please.

So angry roars.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I got alot to blog about.

Blabbling!!

First of all I dunno why Lee Lee just pop into my mind.

Sister I miss you.

Work will be fun with you around.

Lee Lee I really miss you.

= ]

All the best for your relationship!!

Please look for me if you encounter any girls problems.

Although I only half bucket girl.

Lols.

Baby change liaos.

He change so much.

So happy.

Everyday act sweet lohs now.

So sweet.

I wonder what happen if we happen to break up.

Hee Hee.

Anyway I don't think that will happen.

I wanna kneel down on the floor and propose to you.

Because you are old and fat.

I wanna take care of you and make you grow fatter!

That remind of that I am suppose to steal mum secret recipe.

It's time I learn cooking.

I think I can learn in just one day.

No rush.

And because you are a pig that don't know how to use computer.

I need to be there to download your stupid unknown language song for you.

Imagine you, all alone.

So sad. And people will cover their mouth while laughing at you

because you are so fat.

But with me around.

Such a pretty girl.

People will be envious instead of laughing.

Muahahahahas.

And you always speed.

You need someone to remind that you can't die alone.

Cause we are gonna die together.

When you get old, you will start to ache everywhere.

I'll be your portable massage chair! =D

I guess you also need someone that is pro enough to kill you in games.

That will be me.

Muahahahas.

And when you are so old or too fat you can't even move.

My non-stop talking mouth can keep you entertain for the rest of your life.

Do I have enough reason to propose?

Hmm.. Oh and someone need to clean your room for you.

That will be me again.

I have to remind you everyday that you are fat.

So you will have the motivation to exercise.

And remind you we need to eat delicacy every pay day!

I didnt know I was so useful.

Self compliment. Hehehehe

Die liaos I talk like ah ma.

Muahahahas.

I am only twenty!! =D

Let's grow old together.

I love you.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Wah went to eat crab crab with BB.

Damn big big the crab crab.

BB order one black pepper and one chilli.

Each person each.

Hehehe.

The way he eat while saying " CB lohs damn shiok lohs "

I see liaos also shiok lohs.

Sians.

Tomorrow still got duty and sailing.

Anyway sabre was fun!!!

So so fun.

Maybe because people gave compliment.

Hahahaha.

Yay last sailing on sunday!!

And I hope tomorrow got activated.

Muahahahahas.

Tired.

Wanna ZZZZ Soon.

Oh.. I went to see a doctor today.

And I wish the clinic got those " Please rate us "

kinda stuff. I gonna give 5 stars lohs

Even though is just a wulu wulu clinic.

I think I stay like 3o minutes in the room.

The doctor kept explaining things to me.

And even took paper and pen to draw my skin.

Then apply steriods then what will happen.

Then tell me that why I should change bedsheet every week

and not every month, cause of my eyes irritation.

And the food poisoning.

He press my stomach and when he press until a certain area,

I can feel my sai want to come out lohs.

Lols. Goodnight peeps.

Nice crab.. Hehehee.

Bankrupt liaos.

So fast. XD

Monday, July 6, 2009

My heart hurts.

It hurts like ... people stomping on it.

I heard Victory was qurantine.

Bleahs.

I called.

I wonder where my courage come from.

You were so happy.

Why am I still .... ?

When you already let go.

Fucking hand.

Let go before I slap you!!

See. I need to slap myself.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Nobody cares about how I feel.

Nobody!!!!

I allow myself to cry today.

Only today!!!

My love overflowed.

It's time to take a break.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Maybe I will never get to used to why people

lie about...things.

But I think if I want to continue this relationship.

I just have to shut the fuck up.

Did we have a quarrel?

It sounds like a quarrel to me.

I dunno why I kept thinking of Beanie.

Maybe the way Ant Ant threw my hand away makes me think of

how he threw my hand away.

T_T

Then for a second, maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive.

Beanie is gone.

I did so bad for my test today.

Although the guy say I am good in this particular local stuff.

But I thought everyone know.

I mean, everyone know right?

What so good about me!

I thought I can score better.

Stupid bitch.

Always like that. Pui.

It's time I get used to life without you.

Not all guys are the same.

I mean I hope they are not like you.

Ant Ant promise he won't throw my hand away anymore.

Bleahs.

Photos!!!

Mr Potato and Me!!

Isn't he cute? Now he's gone. T_T

My Pretty Pretty NO. =D

Me Me =D

I belong to my Fat Fat Ant Ant. =D

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Mummy told me about some fucker at work today.

She said the mother fucker came to her stall and scold her.

Because Fong Fong was running around the place.

Ah yee then tranform into some green monster and started

scolding vulgarities. And continue by mummy.

I think that guy got shock. And... silent mode liaos.

Lols.

Never look down on woman.

Specially woman from my family.

Gave me flashback on what happen during ITE.

The first time I fought in ITE is because a guy pull my hair.

TT got so angry she almost threw a chair over.

So scary. Elephant stop her in time.

But elephant was injured and bleed.

See what you have done!!

Bad temper girl.

After elephant bleed. I felt damn guilty and sad about it.

I went to the toilet and cry.

Lols. Weakling.

The second time was because I heard the boys scolded my friend.

China dog.

I pick up the phone.

And here come desmond, sebas and veenay to the rescue!

The boys was at the bus stop

Desmond went over and punch his bloody XL face.

And his head hit the pole. Still got the sound " Pong "

Very loud.

Liangwei got kick in his cock lohs.

Damn funny.

And he was on the floor grabbing his cock and moaning lohs.

After that we all come down to a agreement that

Both of them will get a slap from me and things settled.

Lianghai still says, Charbo.. Slap twenty time also no kick.

The I straight away slap him in the face and he started crying.

Now we are friends. =D

The second time was a girl.

I never ever wanted to hit girls.

But she is totally hopeless case lohs.

Just wanted her to love herself more.

=\ Lame excuse.

She told me she is pregnant.

Then ask me not to tell others.

Thing is I fuck care her lohs.

But she threw letter over to tell me all this kind of thing.

I don't even know her.

I guess she heard of me somehow.

And I can tell that she is obviously trying to poh me lohs.

Then I saw her in the toilet.

She said " Why you go tell people I pregnant "

From what I know people around keep asking me if she really pregnant.

Then I say I dunno. Then my friends told me that she tell alot people.

I got so angry I kick her in the stomach.

Then here come the KPO elephant again trying to stop me.

She bend down on the floor and cry.

Then keep saying sorry.

Sibei ke lian.

Hais.

Another issue is a lesbian call cailing.

We have been good friend until one day

She hold my hand and told me that she likes me.

I dunno how to response to this kind of things.

I just HAHAHA. Orhs.

Then walk away.

Then I heard elephant telling me that when I go to the toilet and pee,

She was there peeping.

I got angry again.

I punch her in the face which I dunno why her right eye got swollen.

Swollen until the eyes almost pop out.

So scary!!

Elephant then got angry with me.

Because she don't want me to keep getting into fights.

After quite long.

I apologize to Cailing for what I have done to her.

And she gladly forgive me.

Cause she always get bully without me around.

She one day came to me and cry.

She say she got flash by a guy.

The guy was her good friend and they were going out.

And this guy suddenly just unzip and show her.

I was quite mean.

The time she told me, I was thinking...

" You so fat, So ugly. Somemore lesbian. Sure anot? "

I told her to call the guy out.

And she did.

We meet at northpoint.

And I said let's go to the void deck and talk.

We were at 2nd storey.

I punch the guy in the face.

And squeeze his balls and cock.

I think TT used alot forced.

He lie on the floor.

Start to say sorry.

Cailing also was pulling me back.

I pushed her.

Weirdo lohs.

She want me to F him one lohs.

Then now at there act helpful lohs.

CCB.

I got so angry with both of them.

I kick the guy cock one last time then walk off.

He was on his knees begging me.

And I found out he was older than me by 3 years.

Wah lao, I very mean lohs.

Cailing was then beat up by my sister and simon.

Because she any pom story.

Say what I call ang soon tong people what sai what sai one lahs.

Poor girl.

The last fight was, This china guy.

This one is really CB.

Nobody touches my elephant.

She is my and mine alone.

They are friends. Not very good or close friends.

Just that they come from the same village or whatever lahs.

He tap her shoulder.

So so so so hard.

Just to say a HI.

I see liaos not happy.

I tap his.

Damn damn damn damn hard.

And say HI.

I can tell that he is angry.

But he don't have balls.

Then we sat around the round table.

Then seats are all occupied.

With hippo, sheep, elephant and me and one guy.

Left with one more seat, we all put our bag there.

Then this china guy came over and take our bag and put on the table.

And fucking hell, the bag touch my chicken rice cucumber lohs.

CB. Du Lan lohs.

Elephant keep sending me signal lohs.

I can tell lohs.

I suck thumb lohs.

I shut up.

After that he talk talk talk then his rice all fly onto the table.

I nabei cb cannot take it.

I say his mother never teach him eat that time cannot talk huh.

He then insult back my mother.

CCB. Flashback until so angry.

I go over and ask him to apologize.

Cause I saw elephant face going sian 1/2.

He then ask me go and die with my family.

I bang his head on the table and the table just nice got his western food.

Fries, chilli sauce, chicken chop sauce all on his face.

He stand up, he push me.

I fell down.

Elephant stood up.

I wont forget that.

Hippo and sheep and the other guy just sat there and watch show.

Now you know who is your good friend and who is not.

Samuel, The next table stand up also.

I was really touched lohs.

I always quarrel with him.

And I didn't expect him to help me.

Samuel was big size and quite fit guy.

He grab hold of the pubor and I dunno why suddenly elephant almost fell down.

I thought the china guy push her or something.

I rush to him and keep feeding him my knee.

After that he ran away.

A while later a group of china guy came to over table.

And " Oi why you hit my friend "

Then just now the police walk towards me also.

Then all the china guys walk off.

..... Dog right?

Then parents was call down.

The china guy mother came but he didnt.

His mother say her son was badly injured.

Face swollen and everything.

One of his teeth drop.

And his mother ask my mother

" Your daughter need teaching "

She mess with the wrong mum man.

My mum slam the table.

And then start scolding her.

My sister was also there adding alot stuff.

Like " Ur son molest my sister! Send him to back to china!! "

They got so smart suddenly lohs.

Say what he touch my chest that's why I fell down.

Cannot be he push me on the hand or what then I fell.

Sure is chest one ma.

Then the china guy mother start to apologize and bow to us.

I thought mummy gonna scold me on the way home.

This is the first time in my life she compliment me on fighting.

She say next time hit her mother also ma.

Then ever since then I never saw the china guy ever again..

Type until hand sour liaos.

Going to cook maggie mee.

And SA!

I got a sore eyes.

I think some bug bite me.

So gao wei lohs.

I feel bad about yesterday.

I cup baby phone.

Because he was late!!

But he went to bought me gingie mother.

A big big gingerbreadman.

Which I been eyeing on.

So sweet right.

Eeyer, I cup his phone.

Bleahs!!!

Going to camp soon.

I wanna go sentosa!!

Roars.

Muacks Ant ant.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

It's kinda weird when you exchange glances with someone you dunno.

Anyway.

I really pity those girls.

I mean they look so happy.

I hope it's for real.

Poor woman!!

Baby peeping at my blogging.

Gonna one on one with him Sudden Attack liaos.

If I win, I got my gingerbreadman!!!

Muahahahahas

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Muacks.

Shag.

Waiting.

Friday, June 19, 2009

I realize it's time I clean up my room.

My dolls seems dull and not very happy.

I gonna do domestic.

*Wrap band around my head*

BRB!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Run about 3km today.

I always slow down my baby.

Bleahs. Next time ask him find someone else liaos.

I think I won't be able to find someone that is sweeter than him.

Today quite shag.

Feel like I haven't been home for a long long time.

Hahaha, Although I was just at home yesterday.

Shit I am broke.

I left like $200 in my bank.

And Mummy is pasting O$P$ everywhere.

And, I owe her $200. =.="

I wrote some story to Ant Ant.

Been so long since I use my brain to think.

Anyway, I use my heart to think.

Hahaha I don't think I follow my brain.

Today is study day!!!

Once in a blue moon!

Tomorrow MM.

Reach home, So sticky.

Bath, Brush my teeth.

Du lan cause I run out of hair mask.

So clean so clean.

Found out mum's mask hiding place.

Muahahahas.

Gonna blog finish then piak a mask on my face liaos.

Tomorrow need to wake up early.

I think I am feeling alot better nowadays.

Ant Ant, trying to make me happy.

I can tell. Act cute lohs.

Hee. I never ever run alone for so long.

Imagine 12 rounds around the stadium.

Not a chance until I met him.

Haha. Went to meet up with his friend today.

Play billard. So handsome lahs.

Drools*

Muacks Ant Ant.

Beep you!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Quite loss at words.

Regarding to what happen today.

I gave almost 90%.

Forget it.

Now I see.

I like my ant ant. =D

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

How can I be so cruel to myself?!

I haven fucking shop for so so long.

Hais.

Poor me.

Pay finally come in.

But I realize I got so much so much debts.

So much, I don't think I can shop till next month.

Talking to Chief Gun on the msn.

Man, I miss him!

Less one body to talk cock with me.

Been very skinny lately.

Muahahahas.

Cough like shit. Eat what cough then vomit out.

Sail so long.

Like very long never return home liaos.

I think somebody touch my dolls.

Hais. So bored!!!

Elephant aeroplane me~!!

Nabei. Always like that.

Need me then call me.

Don't need then aeroplane.

Beanie Beanie.

Fuck. I am not suppose to think of you anymore.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Life is always so unexpected.

Finally, For a minute or two

I forgot about you.

Muahahahahas.

Bye bye beanie.

I like the way when you teach me how to drive.

Accidentally brush through your hand.

I think I feel something somehow.

And then the way you scold badword.

Kinda weird to say it's cute.

Hehe. But it is. ROARS.

Having some stupid cough.

So stupid till it hurts!

My stomach hurts! And my heart hurts.

My throat hurts. Blaaa everywhere hurts.

Slept throughout the sailing.

Why am I so weak. ~_~

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I thought of you today.

I pick up my courage which I thought...

I lost it somewhere.

I send you a sms.

And as expected, no reply.

I ... thought you know..

People always look downwards

When they are sad.

Having to look at the pair of shoes you bought me.

Makes me happy instead.

Chinese saying, giving someone a pair of shoes

gonna send them far far away from you.

Thanks for giving me this pair of shoes.

.....

Bleahs.

I hope my brain forget about you!

I gonna wash it with dettol.

And then pantene with conditioner.

Beanie...Beanie.

Let me rest in peace.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

It's 11pm!!

And I can't fall sleep.

Finally got my Sims 3.

Wahahaha so happy!

Went tanning with Chief Wes again.

Wah laos. I so happy lohs.

Tan until the colour I want liaos.

Finally lohs.

Always wanted to go tanning.

But alone, then always don't have the determination.

Now finally found a tanning partner.

Muahahahahas.

Went to Mummy stall today.

Not much people lehs.

I see liaos abit sians.

My mummy once...got so many customers.

How come become like that!!

Bao come home today.

Wonder if she AWOL.

Hahaha.

Getting tired.

Tomorrow meet Chief Wes 6.45

Sure cannot wake up one lohs.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Breathe!

I can breathe better.

I finally get out of the evil fever that haunt me for days.

That's so mean.

I only wish for a day.

Well, becareful what you wish for!

I get so much better today.

I can't stop talking.

I haven't talk for days.

I feel like a dirty sticky old dying woman

that wonder around yishun sapphire.

Dad kaobei-ing beside me.

I think I gonna spoil the keyboard.

Curse the hell out of them

Fuck them all.

All should just go and die.

Mother fucker.

Got so much to blog about.

And now? Fuck off.

Friday, May 22, 2009

I fall sick again.

I think something is wrong with me!

I mean I am quite happy that I am sick.

Cause I have never been sick since I was born!!!

Arrg. But nowadays keep falling sick.

So easily. =\

Caught a fever.

It's the highest fever I ever had in my whole life.

Bleahs.

Wanted to write a 30 days without CO-2 story or something

But. Hais. I hope he's doing well in his new ship.

Mummy cook a whole big pot of chicken porridge.

And...I don't seems to have to appetite.

Sob... Now I feel like eating abalone.

Or maybe sharkfins.

Tomorrow gotta work.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I fell down.

Finally I bleed.

Thanks to bee.

CO leaving.

So so sad.

I guess, this is life.

Anyway, Why I am always the one kana molested?

Am I a rapist in my previous life?

And now is time for payback.

Bleahs.

I just wanna live my life peacefully.

Talking to CO.

Hais.

Good guys are all leaving.

Even Mr Potato.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My heart hurts.

Roars.

It's nothing to do with feeling.

It just hurt.

Maybe...It's spoilt.

No wonder I can't feel anything nowadays.

Hahaha! Not joking!

Friday, May 15, 2009

I am tired.

Mentally.

I need a break.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

........

Blogging at 6am in the morning.

I am tired.

I want to sleep.

I suppose to sleep!

KPO bitch.

Serve you right.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I done well.

Fixing everything together.

I hate it when people trying to barge into my life.

Anyone who attempt will just die horribly in this whole lifetime.

Why do you have to cursed.

Blaa! Stop scolding me anyway!

I am not the one at fault.

Why is it me that suffer?

It's not fair.

Fuck it.

I hate it so much.

I hate it!

I wonder if the world is coming to an end.

Bless all the mexicans.

I hope they recover from the swine soon.

Went to cow's home and play dota.

Win myself two gingerbreadman doll.

Wahahaha.

The fun thing about dota is,

If i win.. I got more dolls.

And if i lose, I just have to punch simon in the face

and walk away.

See.. Fun!

Went to cable ski with CO, NO and AO Kenneth.

Wahahaha so fun.

New experience.

Wahahaha.

So tired.

Feeling weird nowadays.

I wonder if I am sick.

I found my old thermometer.

Weee!! SAF gave me a new one.

And Daddy bought one for me.

Now I got 3!

Bao's playing mahjong again.

Dunno why she dun need to work.

And dun need to eat.

Dun need to drink

Dun need to sleep.

Just nicotine and mahjong.

I hope my sister won't turn into a zombie.

What so fun about mahjong?

Stupid John John finally free to show face lohs.

Hee.

Haven seen him for a long time anyway.

Kinda miss him too.

John John.

Remember the song you sing while piggyback me.

You always made me feel so much better.

Thanks alot.

Muacks.

I gonna miss you when you are gone.

Cheers to myself.

As I have walk alone this far.

There's nothing that can bring me down.

Now I see.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It's half day!!!

Happy Birthday Navy.

I wonder what happen 20 years ago.

Hmmm..

I am so so sad today.

I mean, so not happy.

Why do I have to be sad.

Big big sun today.

Gonna go tanning or what later.

Hmmm...

To Mr Molester.

So sorry I do all this to you.

I don't mean it.

I hope you can forgive me.

Though I doubt you will be able to read my blog.

But so so sorry.

Monday, May 4, 2009

It's a very tired day I can say.

Let me think what did I do the whole day.

Hmmm... Basically nothing!

Quarrel with Chicken in the morning.

And she threaten to jump down the MRT track.

Then I saw her on the way home.

And this question just pop into my mind.

"Hey you suppose to jump down the track right?"

Fine. It's not really funny at all.

My left eyes keep twitching the whole day.

Something gonna happen.

Maybe the guy that i cursed...really died?

Whatever. I am not that lucky.

Well well, attend my class today.

There's no word I can understand.

Shit, I think I am in deep shit.

Serious.

And my batch boy and girl can just simply... @#$@%

And ta-da~! They got it.

I need to buck up again.

I hate it when I have to you know?

Study marathon kinda thing again.

It's really sickenining and tiring and whatevering.

Can somebody just understand it!

Wanted to went for swim lohs.

This sister of mine has gone insane.

She actually want to play mahjong so much..

She ask my mum and dad.

Everybody start getting fitter and fitter.

How can I lose out!?

Tomorrow half day. I gonna make tuesday, My own sport day.

And if anything happen, Friday will be standby date.

If anything happen again I will activate my weekend.

My racket gonna go rusty.

No way man!

Talking about racket...

I got this tennis bag I wanted to buy so so so so so much at Yishun.

Roars. I bet it sold out.

Shit... Told you!

Don't ever see something you like and not buy it.

You gonna regret for life.

I guess I am gonna regret for life now.

My poor poor tennis bag.

I wonder who got it. And wonder if the owner mistreat it.

Poor tennis bag. You should belong to me...

Oh my.

Can't I just shut the fuck up.

It's just a fucking old bag.

And it's blue in colour.

Why would I want something that is blue in colour.

Fuck off and get myself a life.

But... the bag is really really nice.

Fine... Pimples... all cursed upon my pimples.

And regarding yesterday phototaking session.

...... TA DA......!

There's alot more.

Lazy.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Went out to celebrate Huiyu's belated birthday.

Happy birthday my dear slut.

I love you lots.

Took lots of picture again.

I wonder where I have to take picture everytime

I having bad rashes. Specially on my face.

Roars.

And not to forget the super duper big and ugly pimple that

pop out recently.

Feel hungry suddenly.

Feel like eating Mum's Macroroni.

Or Wanton Soup. Or... Hais..

I search every hole in my kitchen.

Not even a packet of maggie mee.

So pathetic.

Only eat 1 meal today.

I guess I gonna faint tomorrow.

Who asked me to sleep until 5.30pm.

Yawns.

Photobucket always takes it own sweet time to load

the picture lohs.

Hais.

So tired. I guess I will post the picture the next post.

CO Sir say I will have to sleep at 9pm

In order not to take cab the next day.

Now I got caught on msn. xD

I have to sleep soon!!

I wonder what should I buy for CO Sir.

=\ Hmm...