Hi blog, its been a long time. I feel kinda lost right now.
I have, everyone knowing who i am, saying i am stupid.
Everyone who knows who i am says i am guillible.
Everyone who knows me, says that i look more like "food" than human.
Remember those time, i feel like i am shrek.
Being force into a corner, people with their pitchforks and spear trying to poke the rashes girl off.
What i really want, was someone. Someone that is kind enough
to shake my hand. Someone who is brave enough to say Hi to me even if he or she is hoping she wont get infected by my skin or something. Its just that now i grew up, knowing, my skin
is not something that can harm anyone. Just that..
I wanna be kind to the someone in need of help.
Maybe they feel the same as i do at the moment.
Maybe they really needed someone to hold their hand.
Appco have just shown me. How realistic this world is.
I was in fault for being so stupid.
But, I was really happy being with her, cause it just makes me feel like i saw another Patty in this world.
She's so much like me. Eat alot, talk cock alot, having fun alot whatever situation, competitive enough to make me stress.
but we just not the same.
As soon as i left, i knew i lost something. So next time when your mum tell u kids, "Friends are not forever but family is"
Please listen well and u know, dun be like me.
Talking about family, I kinda lost track in most of the things.
I wonder why am i always the last to know.
Last to know that my cousin got pregnant.
Last to know about my grandmother condition.
Last to know that my grandfather fainted.
Last to know my Yi Zhang parents pass away.
Sometimes i spend too much time with Jerry. I thought its was like freedom, away from naggy people and irritating people.
But whenever i step into my house, I have my mum sitting down at the sofa, and said "Eh u coming home tonight!"
Well she just look happy. My dog, my precious little dog.. It really breaks my heart. So I am not talking about it.
Where else, spending time with Jerry is getting more and more frustrated. Its the constant irritation he try to do on me and he think its fun. Its starting to accumulate.
I was not welcome by his family. He sleeps and sleeps the whole of whatever day.
Was it the buying and planning for HDB flat officially announce us husband and wife? Or what makes me feel like its gonna be him i sticking with for the rest of my life.
Cause whatever it is, its starting to turn into doubt.
But why am i still holding on. If i can still be hurt by his words. He must be someone important to me.
Where are you, courage.
I need some courage.
I dun wanna decide anymore.
I want to change into someone different. Is this a mask or something, which is real? I seriously..need to sleep.
