Hi. I am lonely again.

And then cry again.

I wonder what the fuck I want.

I wanna give up soon.

But everytime I thought of what will happen if I give up.

I cry.

Because I know you don't care.

You don't care if I give up anot.

You don't even care if I exist.

I think I should love myself more than I love you.

One more week.

Just one more week.

And...

You will never do what you promise.

I will never get the kind of love I want.

I can't believe I cry sleeping just beside you so many times.

Because I felt so lonely.

So lonely I felt like dying. Or maybe I am already dead.

I can't believe I willingly to waste time on waiting.

And then in the end. Cry.

I need a better life.

Someone who can makes me happy.

Not just because he finally talk to me and say some sweet things

And I go all crazy about it.

This relationship won't last.

Nothing last when it comes to me.

Nothing.

Since I am alone all the time.

Why can't I just....

I sms you today.

I dunno why I always need damn hell lots of courage to do that.

It's just a sms.

When I close my eyes.

I see you telling me that I am beautiful.

Exactly like that day.

And then when I open eyes..

I see you leaving me.. alone crying.

You lied.

Why do people lie?

It's kinda hurt everytime I think of you.

Though it's not that painful anymore.

Christmas is coming.

To me. I think it's just another anniversary.

4th year.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I can only apologize to nothing every christmas.

I am so sorry that you won't be able to hear my apologies.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean it.

I am so sorry. I felt really sad too.

I am so sorry. I didn't manage to give you a name.

I am so sorry. A scar is not enough to ammend for what I did.

I wish I died on that day.

People like me don't deserve to be save.

Don't save me anymore.

It painful to stay alive.

Christmas... The festival I love the most.

Santa claus really don't exist?

I still gonna hang my socks this year.

Gingerbreadman is coming to town!

My favourite cartoon character.

Hehe. Guess I am still a kid afterall.

Kid don't murder.

But I guess I did.

Why do I have to always cry alone.

It's not fair. That I am here crying.

And you are happily playing game.

It's not fair. So not fair.

I wish I died.

No one think I am worth living anyway.

When I tried hard to keep everyone around me happy.

And...still nobody cares.

Make me dead.

It's sad, when I thought of how they used to treat me last time.

I put in so much. I gave so much.

And then I get nothing, NOTHING in return, but pain.

I hope this time round is not.

I had a quarrel with Fat Pork on friday.

I cry while walking on the way home.

Why does all this things happen on me.

But then I didn't see how much effort he put in.

But after that bad friday.

I realize, I don't have to a idiot to wait and wait at home for his return.

Meanwhile I can do lotsa stuff like, swimming and going out for shopping.

I shouldn't be so stubborn.

Even after all my ex-bf break up with me because I am stubborn.

And Fat Pork can endure me for so long.

Isn't he sweet.

I reborn my hair today.

Finally I felt, newer and much more alive and kicking.

Seriously, HAIR does matter.

Christal has move to AMK. My hair stylist.

Haha. Sound like a professional.

But.. Haha, she is just a ordinary hair stylist.

But she's good. At least the best in all the hair stylist I met.

If not I won't went all the way down to AMK just to cut a hair.

I have persuaded Porky to get into the " Set a goal " mode.

And our goal is to get married and save alot money before that.

If we fail, We just break the Pork Bank and split the money.

Heh. It's just a goal for us to work towards to.

It doesn't mean we have to WORK towards to.

I mean... We have to! But .. Nvm.

Well. I wish we can make it.

Muahahahas.

I am tired.

Gonna go sleep.

Work tomorrow.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

ROARS. I gonna protect my country!!!

No nonesense!

Without Singapore, There won't be FAT PORK!

And all my friends. My brothers. And Sister!!

1. Junyi

2. Yong Yeow

3. Cesc

4. Dongxu

5. Soh Hwee

6. Hey I think I only got 5 friends.

Haha. Bao's at home playing mahjong again.

I wonder where she get to know so many mahjong legs from.