Hi. I am lonely again.

And then cry again.

I wonder what the fuck I want.

I wanna give up soon.

But everytime I thought of what will happen if I give up.

I cry.

Because I know you don't care.

You don't care if I give up anot.

You don't even care if I exist.

I think I should love myself more than I love you.

One more week.

Just one more week.

And...

You will never do what you promise.

I will never get the kind of love I want.

I can't believe I cry sleeping just beside you so many times.

Because I felt so lonely.

So lonely I felt like dying. Or maybe I am already dead.

I can't believe I willingly to waste time on waiting.

And then in the end. Cry.

I need a better life.

Someone who can makes me happy.

Not just because he finally talk to me and say some sweet things

And I go all crazy about it.

This relationship won't last.

Nothing last when it comes to me.

Nothing.

Since I am alone all the time.

Why can't I just....

I sms you today.

I dunno why I always need damn hell lots of courage to do that.

It's just a sms.

When I close my eyes.

I see you telling me that I am beautiful.

Exactly like that day.

And then when I open eyes..

I see you leaving me.. alone crying.

You lied.

Why do people lie?

It's kinda hurt everytime I think of you.

Though it's not that painful anymore.

Christmas is coming.

To me. I think it's just another anniversary.

4th year.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that I can only apologize to nothing every christmas.

I am so sorry that you won't be able to hear my apologies.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean it.

I am so sorry. I felt really sad too.

I am so sorry. I didn't manage to give you a name.

I am so sorry. A scar is not enough to ammend for what I did.

I wish I died on that day.

People like me don't deserve to be save.

Don't save me anymore.

It painful to stay alive.

Christmas... The festival I love the most.

Santa claus really don't exist?

I still gonna hang my socks this year.

Gingerbreadman is coming to town!

My favourite cartoon character.

Hehe. Guess I am still a kid afterall.

Kid don't murder.

But I guess I did.

Why do I have to always cry alone.

It's not fair. That I am here crying.

And you are happily playing game.

It's not fair. So not fair.