Heart, Where did you go.

EI EI EI.

I dun like EI anymore.

Some test I took in facebook.

So true.

Your eyes reflect the color yellow. You are a warm and inviting person. You tend to have brighter spirits more often than others. You try to see the silver lining in everything. You are also very open to others' opinions and put your heart in everything you do. You also love to make people happy by being a bit humorous. Because you are so positive when things turn out not as you planned you tend to feel pity for yourself. You can also be gullible and unaware of things. You can also be forgetful at times. In all you are a Bubbly person.

Empathic and caring you use this life to make the lives of others better. You make people feel better where ever you go; whether you make their day brighter by walking in the room or make them feel better from the inside out by practicing medicine, people are better for knowing you. Enjoy this life and the lives you touch.

Yesterday was like hell.

No different from any other day in changi.

But yesterday was hell!!

Dun wanna talk about it.

Fuck them all!!!!

Finally, I caught a fever yesterday night.

So lucky.

I think I caught fever twice in my whole life?

Plus this is the 3rd.

Muahahahas.

I put on mask to cool down my fever.

Red wine mask.

Muahahahahas.

Very hungry waiting for food.

Bleahs

Muacks Muacks my little John John Bee.

Changi totally sucks.

Pui

I go around reading other's blog again.

When I am gonna be late for work.

I realize people been living in life that.. keep backstabbing and ?

What happen to my friends?

Well, forget about it.

I made a big mistake again.

First of all, I miss my John John.

My cute little bee.

Why bee. Cause he eat lotsa honey.

So sweet. Wee!!

Went to bugis with Meijun, Junyi And Mr Naggy today.

Wanted to catch a movie. But bleahs, no movie.

We ate steamboat, till all want to vomit.

Bought a Domo.

Muahahahas. So CUTE!! Oh my god.

It look just like my bee bee.

Isnt it cute? I name him Dodo!!

Anyway upload the picture I took when we go partyworld.

Muahahahas.

Sweet dreams Peeps.

I love John Johnie!

Wish me luck.

Gonna go.

Hell or Heaven.

We shall see.

I am so tired today.

I gonna sleep now and wake up at 4.

To hug the buddha leg for tomorrow exam.

I was so dumb.

I always wanted dignity and pride.

I said no to free tips.

Well, I wonder what the score will be like.

People say I am crazy for not taking the tips.

Come on man, be more independent.

There won't be tips in real situation.

I mean, i know it's just some dumb exam.

But you can't expect tips forever.

But, well not last minute hug buddha leg also.

Now what am I going to do without tips.

Shit you Patty Chen.

What so hard about throwing away your dignity and pride.

Oh my god, What am I saying.

It's Dignity and Pride!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Well, I hope so.

Man, I need some encourage and motivation.

Like if I pass, I will get a free bowl of

Laksa without ham add egg without egg white.

Or if I score, a free BMW or Bungalow at Kembangan

just beside John's house.

Or maybe a year sponsor of nicotine?

Well that will just make me die faster.

Unlimited, dog food?

For cheok?

Maybe a month off?

So I can do some mahjong marathon again.

Well, I think the best is to stop dreaming.

Nite Nite.

Muacks to John.

My eyes fail me.

Failed to see who is true and who is not.

Why am I born stubborn.

Just like my mother.

Why can't I be more self discipline.

I thoought the whole sky fell on me when you left.

Come on, it's just a guy.

It's not like I will die without you.

And of course I will survive through this someday.

Stop being so temperamental. Please.

I can't talk to anyone onboard.

No one.

No one can be trusted.

Can't they just live in peace.

Wonder what's with them and their politics.

Well, I will never step in.

I felt being lock up.

Lock up in a transperant box.

I see myself, being so rude and simply, not fun anymore

to everyone around me.

I don't want it. But I can't help it.

Man, I feel sick.

Wahahaha, I miss my Baby Little John.

Muacks.

I love you John!

I realize I need to get some sleep.

For tomorrow fire fighting.

But, talking so much to my sir, I can't sleep.

I need to accept changes?

Changes like, you love me no more?

I not going to accept it.

You were sad when I left you the last time.

Like I said I won't make you sad anymore.

So even if you are going somewhere higher.

I just stay down here.

And not gonna accept any changes.

What if u feel sad.

What if u are lonely.

What if u just regret?

What if u want me back.

Is it all this things that keep me from

loving somebody else.

And..feeling so angry when somebody else talk to me.

I felt drain. I think i cannot take it anymore.

I am very not happy.

I hate you. I hate you.

I hate you Benjamin sit.

Whatever u said is a lied.

All the I love you is fake.

You lied.

You play with my feelings.

You lied.

You said you love me.

You said I am beautiful.

You lied.

Why did you do that.

I fucking hell hate you.

I hate you I hate you.

Why do I have to care how you feel

even after how you treat me.

Why do I bother so much about you feeling

sad or lonely. Fuck me.

I hope i get brain-wash or just leave this earth

So i wont remember all the lies u told me.

It's saddist to be so soft hearted.

Please, Its time to wake up. Bitch.

What the hell am I thinking?

Willingly to be played and play by people?

Fuck myself

John, I love you.

Well, tiring day.

DC is not fun at all.

Specially when you didn't get a nice role to play.

I wanna be the attack party!!!

ROARS!

Well tomorrow is fire fighting.

>.>

Gonna be another tiring day.

Nicholas going Australia tonight.

Wee, Gonna have lotsa presents!

Muahahahahahas.

I miss my baby John.

Life is alot better for me now.

But feel abit sad sometimes when I want to cry and can't.

Dunno what happen to me.

My blood boil when any guys touches me.

Specially someone onboard.

ROARS.

Except for John.

Gonna hug him till he choke!

Muahahahas.

Muacks Muacks Little John

I love you, John.

Getting ready for DC later.

.... That all.

What a mother fucker.

I hate mother fucker.

Go fuck ur own mum, Shit.

I did my best. I do everything I can for you.

It's partially my fault for the end result.

Why can't I made myself see that it's hopeless.

Why am I trying so hard to mend.

Time to let go, again.

Played Tennis with my little John John.

So cool. Oh my god.

After that went to eat.

And then went for swimming.

So cute. Oh my god.

Man. I sure love my John John.

Muacks.

So tired. Gonna sleep soon.

I mean now.

Sibei Shag!!!

Just reach home.

Sailing was damn shag.

It's just a one day thing. Bleahs.

Didn't sleep much..

So down. So down.

Don't be.

Why am I cheering myself up again?

Tomorrow SR.

Going back camp to study.

Bored. Will call Nic out tomorrow and rape him.

Yeap.

That it.