My eyes sore again.

Mucus keep flowing out from my nose.

Like waterfall...?

I think I done something wrong again.

Like I always did.

I remember telling myself.

If things doesn't belongs to me.

Then I have no choice but to make it mine.

I've done it.

Happiness, laughter and stupid imaginery stories.

They only last for a very short while.

When you first write the first few episode.

You feel the exitement about "I wonder if he likes it"

I crack my brains using everything I have all my energy I spend

So I can think of interesting stuff to share.

I always been a joker.

A tomboy.

A man!

I have to protect everyone I loved.

I committed more than I can.

Clowns get performance money from audience.

But I got nothing.

Because at the end of the day.

I'm always tired and exhausted from all the "protecting".

Not protecting the people I loved.

But myself.

I guess I am the one who needs protection the most.

But there's no one there I can lean on.

And blurt out everything that is eating me.

It's hurtful.

To know.

You doubt my love.

Like I mention in the previous post.

Everything is a lie.

But my love is not.

But seems to me like my love is a lie to you.

HAHA. This is for lying too much.

Retribution.

Now... I am going to smoke until I can't feel my lungs.

( Anyone know the feeling of feeling a lungs? )

And til I die...I just gonna fill everywhere with laughter.

Even if I cry I gonna cry laughing!

Anyway I think I got a pair of pretty eyes with neverending tears.

Where I got so much water from.

I thought I just pee.

It's painful inside.